a little bit down

Tonight I found out that a child in my son's class had a party. Ammon wasn't invited. I understand that not every child gets invited to every party. Ammon probably doesn't even know/care anyway. I understand that there is only so much money that people can spend on a party, and so not everyone can be invited. I really do understand that.

It just comes as a slap in the face when it looks like ALL the kids in the primary class got invited EXCEPT for my kid. Wow. I feel like saying to the mother, "look, I got the message." But really, I can't. Because I don't think we were even supposed to know that the other child had a party.

A close friend of mine has a child who has Autism. She told me once that he might not get invited to parties growing up, and that while He won't care either way, SHE will care. She will hurt for him, because she knows what he is missing and why he is missing it.

That is how I feel tonight. I hurt for him. He doesn't know the difference, but I do. Maybe it's because I feel like it's a reflection of me. It makes me feel like I am a bad parent, raising the children that other parents don't want their kids around.

I know that isn't entirely true though. I can see it when Ammon gently plays with his autistic friend, even though that boy is like, 3 years younger than him and doesn't talk.

I see it when Hyrum kisses the mother of the child that has just sent him to the ER.

I see it when Ammon gives me a hug when he knows that I am feeling down.

When Hyrum happily shares his new water bottle with a child he has just met.

When they remind me to have scripture and prayer and family home evening.

I love my kids. I hope others will as well. I am trying my best. I promise.