Starting my 3rd Trimester

I never did replace the lamps. I threw them away, but I haven't replaced them yet. Can't find ones I like yet.

Choir is.... going. We are getting ready to do Mozart's grand mass right before Easter. Which is way cool! Except, that Mozart is hard. And it's even harder when you have NO BREATH SUPPORT! I leave choir practice every week in pain, because my back is trying to compensate for everything that my body can't seem to do. I feel bad when our conductor Myron says, "come on ladies, you need to support that note, it's flat!" and I"m thinking, "yeah.... right. Support it with what? I have NO breath!" Everyone at choir gets a big kick out of the fact that I am pregnant. They are super excited for me. I've already talked to Myron about how I won't be doing the last concert. Once the Mass is done, I'm done for a while. He laughed and told me that he figured as much.

I've been to the perinatalogist. As of right now there is no placenta accretia (thank gooness!) although there is COMPLETE placenta previa. Yay me. :( Isaac and I have been seriously discussing me getting a tubal when I have my c-section. Every pregnancy is getting more and more dangerous for me. I'm hurting all the time. 4 c-sections is a lot for a body, and my body doesnt seem to cope with it very well. I've been contracting and have already lost my mucus plug (gross huh?) although I've not dialated yet. No dialation means no bed rest, which means I can still go to school. I'm scrambling to get as much done as possible (including getting observational hours in for Tuoro University Nevada) so that I can just chill if I end up on bed rest. The Doctors says if I can make it to 36 weeks, we will be in a good place. I want to make it all the way to 39 1/2 weeks. Well, last night I didn't. I was in so much pain in my back, all I could think was "I have 12 weeks to go. 12 x 7 is 84 days. That makes 84 nights. 84 nights of painfull sleep. Can I cry now?"

My friend gave me some peppermint aromatherapy body oil and Isaac will give me a massage most nights before I go to bed. We found a video on YOutube that shows how to give a pregnancy massage, and it really helps me. Between the backaches and the stretching of the scar tissue and the sciatic nerve pain, I usually am hurting a LOT by the time I go to bed. Isaac brought up the gold love seat and put it in our room so that I can sleep on it if I need to. It helps support my back and helps me relax. Its just kinda small, so I can't stretch out on it. So I end up going back and forth between the bed and the loveseat.

I sure hope my sisters don't have as hard a time when they are pregnant. They are taller than I am, and probably won't have as large babies, so they might be more comfortable when their time comes. They probably won't have c-sections and won't have to deal with the drama that accompanies that. I hear all the time, women who say, " I just LOVE being pregnant!" I don't. I LOVE babies. I don't LOVE being pregnant. I'm kinda relieved by the idea that this is the last time I will go through this. I am also sad that my kids won't have any cousins their age on my side of the family. I guess my boys will just end up being the designated babysitters for all their little cousins. It'll teach them responsibility and patience.