Frustrated Mom

I hate it when I try to be a good mom and it blows up in my face (or rather I end up blowing up in my kids face).

Like trying really hard to fix the stupid Lego fire truck someone gave them for christmas. They lost some of the peices even though I repeatedly told them not to take it apart or to leave it where Enoch could get it. Two hours later of getting mad at it, I get whipped accross the nose with a clip on tie, which results in my screaming at my kids, the truck falls apart AGAIN and I'm throwing the stupid thing across the room.

Or trying to get your child to do his homework so he can turn it in on time and yelling at him because it's taking him three hours to do two pages that should only take him 15 mins.

Or trying to fold laundry while listening to music but your child keep

I feel like being a mom is a no win situation.

I read blogs where moms admit to being a "bad mom" but usually, it's stupid things like, Oh, I gave my child white bread today instade of wheat bread. ohhhhhh My bad mom moments are when I scream at my child and smack him and then realize I smacked the wrong kid.

I have a temper. I know it. My family knows it. Why do moms on mommy blogs never admit that they have tempers? It's like, They all just count to ten and put the child in time out, have a glass of wine and then they're good. They never talk about the whole, I can't even count to ten because my hand has already hit their butts part.

Maybe its because I have too high expectations for myself and my kids. I feel like my kids have to be perfectly behaved at all times or people will look at us and think that we are horrible. I've had people look down on us too many times for me to feel relaxed and calm when my kids start to misbehave. I can handle strangers looking at me weird. It's when people at church or niehgbors or relatives do. My stress levels go way up, and then I'm even less likely to keep my temper. Which just makes things worse.

I find that I am more relaxed when my kids and I are around Asian moms for some reason. They see you yell at your kid in public and tell you thankyou for disciplining your child. "You good mom" they say. It's funny how those words can help me calm down really fast and stay in control. It's a reminder that these things are normal, and not necsisarily a reflection on me and my kids.

So maybe i just need to post sticky notes around my house to remind me that I'm still a good mom when I'm getting frustrated. Maybe it will calm me down.