I had class today. Or was supposed to. I started having placental bleeding this morning. Good ol previa. Just had to start bleeding on the day that I have my once a month class. I had Isaac take me to school so he could drive me right up to the building I needed to go to without walking across campus (because there are NO parking lots close to the WRI). I turned in my assignment, explained to the professor what was going on, and left. Isaac took me to Spring Valley Hosptial. I know I had vowed never to go back there due to billing, but it was the closest hospital to have a level 3 NICU. Since I'm only 30 weeks, I need to be at a hospital with a level 3 NICU just in case they decide to deliver me. I didn't think they would today, I wasn't bleeding very much and I wasn't contracting. Baby was moving around all over the place. In fact, I had completely stopped bleeding by the time I was seen by the nurse. But I had a perscription for a steriod shot for the baby's lungs (just in case we have an Enoch repeat) and I needed to go to L&D anyway for that shot.
They evaluated me, decided I was fine, and gave me the steriod shot. Then they sent me home. I have to go back to L&D tomorrow to get my second dose of steriod. But other than that I'm fine. But they still put me on bed rest untill I can get into see Dr Harter. Great.
Bed rest. ::sigh::
I'm too busy to be on Bed rest! This next week especially.
Between the boys, choir, church, school, Ammon's Dr appointment for his warts, shadowing at CCSD and my friend Wendy's wedding, This week is SUPER BUSY!
On top of all this, I get a call from Annie Peterson (my kids' baby sitter) and she lets me know that Enoch is running a fever. Once Isaac and I get home from L&D, she brings the boys to us, and Enoch is miserable. He wants to be held, but I can't pick him up right now. Which breaks my heart! I help him climb the stairs and then onto my bed where I hold him close and watch documentaries on the computer. Ammon and Hyrum join us. After giving him tylenol twice, a warm bath, some essential oils (cause my CAM friends swear by the stuff) and a small dinner that he wasn't interested in eating, Isaac ran out to buy a new thermometer. We couldn't find the one I used earlier, and it felt like Enoch's fever wasn't going down. Sure enough, it had gone up to a whopping 104. So, now I am home with the older boys while Isaac runs to Enoch over to Spring Valley ER to find out what's up with Enoch. My guess is ear infection.
Being on bed rest makes me feel bad. I feel like a bad mom, especially when my baby is sick and I can't pick him up to soothe him. Or when my son's hands have 7 warts on them and I'm not sure how to get him to his appointment to have them removed.
I feel like a bad singer when I have to cancel on my director 2 DAYS before a concert.
I feel like a bad primary worker when I have to find a replacement for my calling even though there is NOONE to do it (our ward is really small now that we split).
I feel like a bad friend when I can't make it to my friend's bachelorette party, and may not make it to her wedding.
I feel bad when I FINALLY get in touch with the Occupational Therapist from the Clark County School District about shadowing her, and now I don't even know if I will be able to.
I feel like a bad wife when My husband has to take time off of work to do the things that I can't do right now.
Isaac tells me I'm trying too hard to be SuperMom and to just let it go. Not to worry about it all. That I'm over thinking it. And Maybe I am. But I still feel like I let everyone down when I am on bedrest. I let down my church, my community, my kids, my husband and me.
I have to remind myself that I would never get upset at someone for being put on bedrest. I should not be upset at myself either. I just hope Enoch forgives me for not being there when he had to go to the hospital.
I'll call you later!
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